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Bondage and Restraints

Many of us have bondage fantasies – fantasies of either tying someone up or being tied up or restrained during sex or sex play. It doesn’t have to be a full-on fetish and you don’t necessarily have to be into BDSM – maybe it’s just something you want to try for kicks. Whether you’re straight, gay, or lesbian, bondage can be a great way to explore your sexuality and expand your sexual relationship. It’s fun to indulge these sexual fantasies, but for safety and comfort, it’s important to have the right equipment. Here are some tips on finding bondage gear and restraints to help you make your dungeon dreams come true.

Restrain Yourself
Bondage may seem a bit intimidating at first, but it doesn’t have to be complicated or difficult. All you need to get started is a basic set of restraints, and maybe a blindfold or gag. Forget the duct tape, scratchy rope, and those cheap metal handcuffs; besides being uncomfortable, those can cause injuries. Instead, invest in some special bondage restraints that are safe and easy to use. If you and your partner are new to bondage play, you might want to get some soft fabric or nylon cuffs with quick-release Velcro closures. Other quality restraints are made of soft leather and fasten with buckles. Leather is attractive and durable, and the look, feeling, and smell of it can add to the overall atmosphere of your fantasy.

If you like the idea of handcuffs, try a pair that are specially designed for bondage play, ones that are covered with faux fur or leather. They’re just as effective as standard issue handcuffs, but the covering provides padding and prevents the metal and edges from chafing, scraping or pinching your partner’s skin. Be sure you keep the key handy and keep the spare someplace where you can find it easily.

Before you choose your restraints, you need to figure out how you’re going to be using them. Do you want to tie your lover down to the bed, in a chair, to some other piece of furniture, or are they just going to have their wrists or ankles bound to themselves? If you’re going to tie your lover to the bed, you have options that don’t require heavy hardware or drilling holes and screwing bolts into the bedroom wall. You can buy bed sheets that have wrist and ankle restraints built in. Or you can get a restraint system that slides under and around your mattress and uses the weight of the bed to keep it in place.

If you just want to limit mobility without strapping your partner down, you’ll probably need to get some bondage straps in addition to the wrist or ankle cuffs. Cuffs typically come with a loop attached for the straps to go through, and you can adjust the range of motion your partner is allowed by adjusting the amount of strap between the restraints. Most bondage kits include both straps and restraints. A heavier duty way of fastening restraints is with a solid metal bar, which keeps their arms or legs spread at a fixed distance.

All Tied Up
If you enjoy a more hands-on approach, you may want to try rope bondage. All you need to get started is to know is how to tie a few basic knots, but if you want to get more elaborate, you can investigate the art of Japanese rope bondage. This involves constructing intricate rope harnesses that wrap around the body, and are both decorative and functional. Japanese bondage rope is soft and flexible and specially designed for this sort of bondage, but it is also suitable for simply tying someone up. If you’re enacting a break-and-enter or home-invasion scenario, duct tape might be more suitable. However, duct tape is sticky, messy, hard to use, and can be painful to remove. Instead, get some special bondage tape. It doesn’t have adhesive on it, but it sticks securely to itself.

When you use rope, tape, or restraints with fasteners for that matter, make sure that the restraints are not so tight that circulation is being restricted to the limb, or that flesh is being pinched and deprived of blood. After the restraints are on, check the extremities periodically for change in temperature or changes in color. Loosen or remove the restraints if the skin becomes cold to the touch or turns bluish, or if your partner is in discomfort beyond his or her limits. So that your partner can let you know beyond a doubt when he or she is uncomfortable and needs to stop or take a break, establish a “safe word” before the beginning of your bondage session. This should be a word that you would not usually use in a sexual situation, like “cactus” or “cantaloupe”. Your partner can use this word as their signal that they need a time-out or they need to end the session if they feel emotionally or physically unable to continue.

Gags, Masks, and Collars
Gagging a playmate can be very sexy if they are into it. It can greatly increase their feelings of submission and helplessness while reducing their inhibitions about making noises. A ball gag is a popular restraint that fastens around the head and fits a soft rubber ball into the mouth.

Leather bondage masks, and collars can also add to the feeling of being dominated. And blindfolds or masks that cover the eyes can heighten physical sensations and increase the blindfolded person’s feelings of trust in their partner. With any type of restraint that goes on the head, be sure it is not too tight and is not restricting the airways in any manner. If your partner’s mouth is covered, instead of a safe word, make sure you establish a nonverbal signal for them to use to let you know if they need to stop, such as snapping their fingers or kicking the bed or hitting the wall three times in a row.

Just for Him
If you’re putting a man in his place, there’s some special equipment you can use to keep him in line. A cock collar and leash will let him know who’s boss as you lead him around by his pecker. A butt plug harness with a cock ring attached or a cock cage with an anal probe will also adjust his attitude if he’s getting uppity. And for the ultimate in control, get him into a male chastity belt. These devices isolate and secure his cock in place by strapping it down or putting it in a cage, so he can’t play with it – and no one else can either – until you release him.

Bondage Tips

  • Before you restrain your partner, communicate clearly with them about limits, about what you will do when you restrain them and what you will do to them while they are restrained.
  • Choose a “safe word” or clear signal for your partner to use to indicate if they need to stop during your session.
  • If you restrain their arms or legs, make sure the restraints are not too tight and are not restricting circulation.
  • Make sure your partner is not in discomfort or restrained in a position that could cause injury.
  • Don’t leave anyone alone while they are restrained, and don’t leave someone tied up for long periods of time in the same position.
  • If you’re using a gag, blindfold, mask, or anything else that covers the face, make sure their airways are not restricted or blocked.
  • Be careful about tying someone up to furniture or fixtures that must bear their body weight; shower heads and the like are not meant to support a lot of weight.
  • Don’t leave your partner’s arms or legs suspended for a prolonged period of time; this leads to loss of circulation and numbness.
  • Make sure the restraints are secure and will not tighten more when they pull against them.
  • If you’re using handcuffs or any other device that locks, keep the key handy and a spare in a safe place.
  • You can use bondage as a foreplay activity or main event in your sex session; restraining and playing with someone is a great way to get them warmed up for other things.

 

 


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