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Choosing the right dong

While the majority of dildos basically just look like dicks in different sizes and colors, there’s a wide variation in detail. Some are smooth and featureless, while some have detailed veins and balls. Some are designed to stimulate the G-spot or prostate, or have undulations, bumps, angles or corkscrews for extra sensation. They’re available for all size preferences, from extra thick and stubby, to long and slender, which are good for anal sex. 

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dildosYour garden variety sex-shop dildos are usually made out of rubber and/or vinyl, but most quality dildos are made out of silicone. They’re nicely firm and a little more expensive, but they feel good, and silicone is more durable and easier to clean than other materials. Jelly dildos are made of soft, translucent rubbery stuff and come in bright colors. They’re economical and cute, and good for beginners, but can pick up lint. Cyberskin and Ultraskin dildos give a soft, life-like feel, some with “skin” that moves and balls that shift around in the nutsack. They require careful handling, but can be worth it for the realistic sensations. There are also ones available in materials like glass and acrylic, for a hard, slick fuck. 

Dildo tips

  • Don’t use oil - or petroleum-based lubricants (like Vaseline or Crisco) if your dildo is made of rubber or Cyberskin; use a water-based lube (like Astroglide). Greasy stuff will cause rubber dicks to disintegrate.
  • If you’re sharing the dildo with a partner, or using it in more than one orifice (e.g., the cunt and the ass), use and change condoms between insertions to avoid passing STDs or germs that can cause infections. Condoms also make clean-up easier.
  • If you want to use one for anal pleasure, be sure it has a flared base big enough to keep it from disappearing up your ass permanently. Seriously, you don’t want to get something stuck up there and have to go to the ER.
  • When purchasing a dildo for yourself, don’t let your eyes be bigger than your, um, orifice. To get an idea of how much you can comfortably handle, test drive a cucumber or zucchini, whittle it if need be till you get the right proportions, then measure the length and circumference. Put a condom on the vegetable for added protection.

Specialty dildos


dildoCelebrity dongs
Cast from the “rock hard” members of porn stars, these bad boys offer size and the promise of super realism, but you have to ask yourself, do you really want to see every bump and wrinkle on Jeff Stryker’s schlong and balls up close? And despite their fantasies, how many people can actually take on a dick of porn-star proportions? These are mostly good as conversation pieces.

Monster schlongs
One notch up from the superhuman size of the celebrity models, these dicks should come with a surgeon general’s warning for internal injuries. Some are as long as your arm and as big around. In fact, some are shaped like forearms with a fist, for those who want to practice handballing. Again, probably better used for display only.

Double dildos
These are dongs with a head at each end, typically used for girl-on-girl action, pussy to pussy, ass to ass, etc. Hetero couples can also use them for pussy-to-ass screwing. If the dong is long and flexible enough, a female can use it for solo double penetration. 

Bells and whistles
Other gizmos include dongs with built-in or insertable vibrators, inflatable or squirting dildos, bendable and poseable one, even light-up dongs. 

Harnessing your equipment
Some dildos have a suction cup base to be attached to a surface for a solo ride, or to simulate a three-way. Those with flared bases can be worn in a harness, although some with balls may not fit. Leather or nylon harnesses work best as they hold things in place better and don’t stretch out like elastic. Plus the leather looks hot. There are dildo harnesses that men can wear that will accommodate their dick and balls and allow for double penetration of a woman. Other harness-type devices allow a dildo to be mounted on the wearer’s face, allowing for a close-up view and oral opportunities.

 


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